The season of facing my fears

It's less than a week until Vineman 70.3, and unlike the previous two outings in Sonoma County, I feel completely ready.

Before the season began, during my early training in the late winter, I told myself that this year I didn't just want to finish races -- I wanted to race them. To push myself. In order to do that for Vineman, I had to be very consistent in my training and do a lot more challenging, outdoor bike rides.

Well, being "laid off in a company reorganization" gave me the time I needed to be consistent in my training. And let me tell you, low cortisol levels and ample sleep have done wonders for my training. It's amazing how much more energy you have and how much easier it is to keep your heart rate down when you aren't trying to squeeze in 10-plus hours of training into a cramped work week.

The other part -- more challenging rides -- took a bit more effort. Physically, they were difficult. But the bigger challenge for me was mental because those rides forced to really face my fear of descending. I avoided big, hilly rides because of the descents, and as a result, I wasn't becoming more confident at them. And I was setting myself up for yet another 4-hour bike ride at Vineman, simply because I wouldn't be able to take advantage of the descents on the rolling course and let the momentum carry me up the hills, thus increasing my speed overall.

So, I started signing up for rides. First up, Chilly Hill in February. It was chilly (but dry), and very hilly, with a few very steep descents. Since my road bike was being serviced, I did the ride on my mountain bike -- not a great choice on such a hilly course, but the weight of the bike helped me take the downhills much faster.

Next, when doing a group ride with my friends in Hood River, Ore., instead of wimping out and doing a shorter, easier ride, I went with much faster, more accomplished riders on a course that required lots of climbing and one very scary descent. But by the end of that ride, in the final 6 miles of descent, I was able to let go, just a bit, and let fly. It felt wonderful, and more importantly, I felt my confidence start to grow.

A couple of weeks later, it was the Peninsula Metric Century, which featured lots of climbs and plenty of downhills, which also were becoming easier to do.

This last weekend, I finally did the ride I have successfully avoided for years -- the 7 Hills of Kirkland. The morning of the ride, I was already at work trying to come up with an excuse to skip it and do something else more comfortable, more familiar instead. But, as part of my regular routine, I checked my horoscope that morning. It told me that I had nothing to be afraid of, that I had the skill and the confident to face any challenge in front of me. I know it sounds silly, but it was the embarrassing kick in the butt I needed to just go do it.

And guess what -- it was fun. Full disclosure, I only did 4 of the Hills, but it was enough to show me that I had nothing to fear -- I could handle all the climbs and all the descents.

So now, here I sit, with six days to go until Vineman, and for the first time, I know that I have the skill and the confident to face any challenge in front of me. And I know it will be fun.